Indespired · the story of getting out

Some nights you sit in the driveway a few seconds too long.

You built the life you were told to build. Career. Family. The whole checklist. So why does it feel like a cage with nicer furniture? I'm not going to tell you I have the answer. I'm going to tell you what happened when I stopped lying about the question.

The Daily Operating Guide, free. Then the stories behind it, one at a time. No spam. Leave whenever you want.

Zane Erickson

The porch

I grew up in a log house in northern Alberta. No running water. An outhouse at minus forty. A father whose love arrived at the speed of his belt, or a two-by-four, and a faith that told me the beatings were for my own good.

So I did what trapped kids do: I got exceptional. Class president. Top of my class. Married my high-school sweetheart at 19 with a job ultimatum hanging over the wedding. Built the resume, built the company, built the house on millionaire row. I designed dream homes for the people I was supposed to become.

The log house in northern Alberta
Northern Alberta Farm

And I want to be honest about how this story usually gets told from here, because you've heard the version where the guy hits bottom, finds the secret, and now sells it to you from a beach. That's not this.

I was a pastor who confessed his porn habit to the whole church. A millionaire who went bankrupt at 46. A man so sure he was chosen that it took a psychiatric ward to make him sit still. I lost the company, nearly lost the marriage, and spent a summer playing video games in an empty house while my family lived on an island without me.

I didn't lose God. I just stopped waiting for him to show up, and took charge of my life in the middle of hell.

Renovating the house down to the studs
Renovating to provide

Here's the part that matters to you: none of that woke me up. What woke me up was smaller and worse. It was realizing I never chose most of what was running me. The beliefs were installed before I could vote on them. His fear became my hustle. His rage became my discipline. The church's ledger became my worth.

I wonder what got installed in you before you could choose.

That question is the whole site. Sit with it longer than is comfortable.

Preaching on a Sunday
Preaching on Sunday

The name

Indespired isn't a typo. It's the whole arc in one made-up word.

in despair → inspire

The road I actually walked. Not around the despair. Through it.

desire → conspire

What you chase runs from you. So stop chasing. Conspire is not the tinfoil kind. It is the build-it-with-your-own-hands kind: plan it, execute it, pursue it like it matters. That is when the thing you wanted comes looking for you.

"We're just a slave to the desire that's inside of us. Slave to desire, instead of inspire."To my former self — Zane Erickson

The Four Rules

Everything I rebuilt stands on four rules. Here's what each one cost me.

  1. No More Lies. I learned this one standing in front of my whole church, confessing something I'd hidden since I was a teenager. It took me twenty more years to find the bigger lie underneath it.
  2. Accept What Is. I fought this rule for forty years because I thought it meant surrender. It took a psychiatric ward to make me sit still long enough to hear what it actually means.
  3. Self Care. I preached it for years and broke it every night. There was a Father's Day I'm still not proud of.
  4. Be Grateful. It sounds like a greeting card. It's the most practical money advice I own, and I learned it in a log house with no running water.

The rules are free. What they cost me is what makes them work.

Give me your email and I'll send you the whole thing: The Trailblazer's Daily Operating Guide. Twelve pages — the full story behind each rule, the parable that changed how I see people, a fifteen-minute morning stack, an evening review that trains you to catch your own loops, and the nightly vow I built so my kids could say it without cutting me off.

Zane and his family
My beautiful family
Zane speaking at an evening event
Vision is direction
Zane and Chantel laughing together
Live to the fullest

Grey is what it cost. Color is what it bought.

What's coming

Ash RebornThe book · the world

A scarred bear. A forest that runs on fear. Golden chains everyone agrees to wear, and a dragon that sleeps in a man's chest until the day it refuses. It's my story wearing fur. The list reads it first.

CoachingForming — not for sale yet

I won't sell you a program I haven't finished building. When I open the first spots, the list hears before anyone.

Zane Erickson today

The straight talk

I'm not a guru. I kept the receipts.

I'm a guy who was recently where you might be right now. If what you need is someone five steps ahead instead of fifty, that's what this is. Put your email in and the guide comes straight away, then the stories behind each rule over the next week — the real ones, with names and weather in them.

You're in. First story is on its way — check your inbox (and spam, the first time).

That didn't go through. Check the email and try again.

P.S. You read this far. That's not an accident, and you know it. The driveway can wait five more minutes. The first rule is one email away.